Monday, April 25, 2011

The Mind.........

Seven treatments to go.  Today went really fast.  I hadn't slept well last night so I slept during chemo (sorry Con) but she had to wake me up one time for a little snore.

Last night was one of those nights.  Had a great Easter with my sister and family (minus Timothy) even though I missed my brother and his family.  However, when it was time to sleep, it just didn't happen.  For whatever reason the meds I am taking to help me sleep just did NOTHING.  Wide awake for a long, long time.  Thinking a great deal about death over the past few weeks.  I have always had issues/fears/concerns... about death but things over the past few weeks have brought it to the forefront.  One friend recently lost her husband to cancer, another friend lost her adult son to suicide, and another family lost their much loved family dog.

Its not that I am naive enough to believe that death isn't part of life.  I know that I could walk out the door tomorrow and get hit by a car.  I know that people die all of the time.  I get that.  I just don't want to die for a VERY, VERY long time and I am scared that if my cancer doesn't get stopped, I won't be able to be here to do the things I still want to do.

I am ok tho, I'm here, alive, feeling good after chemo (those steroids are so nice), and getting sleepy.  Life is good tonight!!!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Kids Who Make A Difference!

We all too often hear about all of the bad things going on in the world and especially of the negative things kids do.  We have LOTS of great kids in Milan and here's something special about one of them!!!


It's a picture of Lia Iverson, a fourth grader from Symons, who has been in my after school health and fitness program for the past two years and decided to have her hair cut off and donate it to "Locks of Love" in my honor.  She's a really special young lady and comes from a great family.  


Here's a great picture Lia's dad took of us today with her hair!  I am deeply touched and honored by Lia's incredible gift.  It's something I will never forget.  


Thanks Lia!  I love that you care about others.  You are a special young lady and I love you.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Eight down, eight to go, halfway through chemo....YES!!!

Met with the doctor today and she seems to think the tumor is changing and is pleased.  I haven't felt much difference but was glad that since she hasn't seen me in an month and saw/felt some changes, I have to believe and trust that it's getting smaller.

Was also able to talk with her about the emotional aspect (she says I am VERY normal) and we are trying yet another thing that may help me sleep.  Hope so.

Lynn went with me to chemo (gave Con a break today although we were texting most of the time so she couldn't have had much of a break.)  It was scheduled for 11:00 which was much later than usual and they didn't get to me until noon so it made for a very long day but everything went well.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

I am 57 today....hooray!!!

Started the day at the gym....only negative so far was having to put "57" on the treadmill instead of "56."  Ha!!!

I decided to write about what I have to be grateful for.  Here's some of the reasons I came up with to celebrate today.................

1.  I AM ALIVE
2.  I have a great sister and brother and other supportive family members too
3.  I have three darling nephews (I don't see nearly enough but enjoy them when I do)
4.  I have so many incredibly thoughtful caring friends who are helping me fight this stupid cancer
5.  Getting cancer has finally helped get me to the doctor and not be so afraid (I still don't like it though)
6.  I am not so afraid of needles anymore
7.  I am surviving chemo with very few side effects
8.  I have a wonderful dog who loves me bald
9.  I can still exercise most days and walk Chloe everyday (wish the food part were that easy)
10.  I have many things I love to do including reading,
11.  writing,
12.  knitting,
13.  listening to music,
14.  taking walks,
15.  traveling,
16.  shopping,
17.  being with friends,
18.  talking on the phone,
19.  looking at the eagle cam online (still want to see one for real up close though)
20.  watching reality TV shows and movies
21.  scrap booking, although I need to get going on this
22.  driving anywhere and everywhere
23.  going to Tiger games
24.  .............. and so many more things
25.  I got to retire this year but still come to work and be with great staff and kids a few days a week
26.  I get hugs from kids every single day I work...... that's so GREAT
27.  The doctors continue to say I will beat cancer...I really want to believe them
28.  I have my sense of humor (most days)
29.  I love flowers, especially daffodils
28.  I love sunshine and warm weather, especially if it comes more than one day in a row!
29.  I love Tiger baseball
30.  I love Michigan State basketball
31.  I have a lovely home and great neighbors
32.  I have a best friend in Florida who lets me come visit whenever I can get there
33. I miss my mom so very much but am glad that she doesn’t have to go through this cancer with me…. she would have worried WAY too much
34.  Even though my body aches most days from chemo, I can still do anything I want to do
35.  I still have my eyelashes and eyebrows…. so far  : )
36.  I am getting used to the idea of being bald, good timing since when it gets hot outside I don’t think wearing a wig is going to happen
37.  The sun is out today
38.  The grass is starting to turn green
39.  Birds are building a nest in my awning once again this year….they make a mess but the babies are darling
40.  I have goldfinches coming to my bird feeder and they are starting to turn yellow
41.  I love animals……birds, whales, elephants are my favorites
42.  I have had the opportunity during my life to visit many of the 50 states and even a few other countries….still lots more places I want to go…..Hawaii to see the whales is one of them
43.  I love to listen to music and sing (loudly when I am alone)
44.  I was able to complete a half-marathon a few years ago and that had been a life-long dream….. not sure what my next challenge will be after I beat cancer
45.  I love magical moments.  There are magical things all around us each and every day if we just look for them…..spiders weaving incredible webs,
46.  fireflies in the summer,
47.  snowflakes that are beyond miraculous,
48.  sunrises and sunsets
49.  ….… there are so many things to be grateful for (was going to try to get to 57 but it’s too nice out and I want to go for a walk)
50.  Birthdays are fun, even when you are 57!

Monday, April 11, 2011

Another one bites the dust.....

Nine to go.  Went quickly today.

Next week I get to talk to doctor.  Need to get some answers about what's going on (or shall I say what's NOT going on) so I look forward to that.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

These weekly treatments are starting to piss me off!!!

I just am SO done with this......seriously!  I am exhausted, can't sleep, don't have the energy to do anything that lasts more than a few minutes.  I feel like I am 80 years old.  I just finish with one treatment on Monday, then I have to get blood work on Friday (which they can't seem to get out of me again), and then it's Monday all over again..........bother, crap, $%*#%@#$!

Not to mention that nothing is happening to the tumor.  I'm trying to be patient it's really disheartening.

On a positive note, it was pretty outside today.  It sure is hot to have anything on my head tho....gonna go bald I think!

Monday, April 4, 2011

Six down, ten to go.

Man, a week goes by quickly.  Things went well again today.  Even took lots less time.  Very sad that they are so busy in there.  So many people with cancer.

I love the pre-drugs that make me sleepy.  I even dozed a bit today.  Can't believe with it as busy an noisy that I did.  Con said I didn't snore.  Hopefully she's telling the truth!!!  Think I was tired since I didn't sleep much last night.

Now if the gloomy weather would go away we could have a nice week off!!!