Oh well, I can take a nap during the day right??? When I can't sleep I tend to start singing songs in an effort to stop thinking and sleep. My favorite is "This Little Light of Mine".........THANKS V! I usually sing it until I get totally bored (she even gave me all of the verses to learn) but tonight it didn't work. Tonight I started thinking of Barbara Streisand's "People Who Need People are the Luckiest People in the World" song and it got me thinking about the last month.
It's been over three weeks since surgery. I continue to be amazed and touched by people in my life. on a daily basis. I already told you what a blessing it was to have Lynn here for two weeks and what great nurses she and Connie were to me. Did I tell you that since Lynn left that Karen R. came over two or sometimes three times a day to strip and empty my drains......an incredibly gross job but one that she did without a second thought. How about the fact that Julie Z. took me on my first "field trip" after surgery.....a very short trip to the grocery store to get a few things (and we survived even though the "seniors" bus just dropped of a load of folks and we, at 57, were by far the youngest people in the store....THAT was interesting!) Julie also was willing to go with me all afternoon yesterday while I went to various doctors appointments (I'm not sure that a good book and a sunny day was a good enough draw when you have a day off but she did it anyways). Friends like Sarah M., Julie and Mark and Karen brought meals. Friends like Marilyn and Jenni brought be treats. Dan brought some of his famous fruit salad. The Klibers (the whole clan) came by to distract and entertain me one morning as did Carolyn....that will make anyone smile. Other visits, FB messages, e-mails and texts from friends have touched me as well. Chris P. came and swept, mopped, and vacuumed my floors (several people have volunteered to do little jobs but there is really not much to do and I'm sorry but NO ONE will be cleaning my toilets.) Goofy and very regular cards from Carol Preston and Beverly and others have kept me smiling as have daily "conversations" with Tonya and messages from Joan in California who says that I can call her when I can't sleep....hmmmm might just have to think about the time change. Flowers from my neighbors and from Chris and Amy brightened my time stuck in the house. Neighbors Cathy and Greg checking on me each night and helping me keep my garden growing even when I couldn't bend over. My brother Bob sending me smart ass (but loving) texts, occasional conversations with my nephews, my cousin Rob knowing how much I love music burning me a bunch of CD's with music he loves to listen to during this very long boring time. The music was wonderful!
The list goes on and on and I will most likely be adding more thoughts as my brain reflects on this time...................
Things that surprise, shock, and touch me:
1. Besides the power of love and how very lucky I am???
2. How grateful I am that I can now walk around the block with my overweight dog and not feel like she's winning the race.
3. Even though 57 is certainly not old, I am amazed at how much surgery takes out of you and how long it has taken to feel even remotely "normal."
4. That being said, I am beginning to realize that after chemo, surgery, and the upcoming radiation and the continued treatments for the coming year(s) that "normal" will most likely look a little different for me, something I am working and learning to deal with. It's not easy though.
5. How easy it is after sitting way too much for three weeks (and not being as active as I have been for months before that) and pretty much eating whatever I wanted to, to gain back a ridiculous amount of weight (sorry Tony) but I did it once and now will have to get it off a second time.
6. Dogs. Dogs know when something isn't right, when you are hurt, when you "need" something. Chloe has not left my side in three weeks and the best moment was being able to get down low enough to give her a big hug and kiss.......sorry if you are not a dog person you just don't get how special this is but IT IS PRICELESS!!!
7. Cancer still sucks and I want it gone but for these reasons and so many more I will continue to write about......it's a good thing too.
It's now morning and the birds are up. What are the chances that I can go back to sleep. Not good but oh well, it's a wonderful day already!
Keep in touch and I hope to see you soon.
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