Six Month Check up Monday

A little anxiety happening but I feel great and am keeping busy with lots of jobs.

I still wish that they would do a "test" that would tell me with 100% certainty that there is no cancer anywhere in my body.

I keep seeing cancer commercials and they make me nervous too.

I just don't want it to come back.....EVER!

One year

Last July 19th at this time I was still in surgery.  They worked hard to be sure to get all of the cancer out.  I think they did a great job!

I went back and read what I wrote a year ago.  I was so scared and uncertain.  It isn't that I am not afraid anymore, I am.......but I am living and except for every once in a while when the doubts and worries creep in, I am just wonderful and grateful for excellent doctors, friends, and family.

Life is good.....REALLY good.  I appreciate everything so much more as a result of going through this experience.

It's all good....

I heard from someone this week who has missed my blog.  I hadn't realized that it's been so long.  Things are good.  Really busy which helps keep my mind busy too.  I got a part time job at the Washtenaw Community College Health and Fitness Center.  I work in the Kid Zone and play with little ones while their parents work out.  I'm currently a sub and work maybe once or twice a week but it's a blast.  The little snot nosed kids keep making me sick but I still think they are fun!!!

I'm also heading up the Summer School program for Milan this summer which is also proving to be lots of work but it's going to be a great program.

We are busy in our garden too.  It's going to be a big one this year.

So you see, I'm doing well.  I am a bit frustrated that I am not doing well at dieting but I'm not giving up.  I am looking forward to a healthy summer.  Sounds good huh???

Port is OUT.....treatment is over....HOOOOOORRRRAAAAYYYY!!!

I went to meet with my oncologist last Friday and she had a wonderful surprise for me.  My last treatment (which was supposed to be yesterday) was cancelled because she re-counted them and I had already finished the year's worth.  That was such great news.

Today I went in and had the port taken out.  Much easier coming out than going in!  I have to be careful for a week but other than that, I am all set.

While at the doctors I was talking with her about some pain I've been having on my left side.  I am sure that it's just my implant but she decided to send me for an ultra sound this Friday to check out my lymph nodes.

I am relieved that they will be checked out and I trust that after they tell me it's all clear that my mind will allow me to put it aside and let it go.

Then I have a three month break with no appointments.  That will seem so very strange.  I'll get used to it!

It's been a month......time flies!

My brother is complaining that I haven't updated my blog in a while.  He also says that the picture from February is giving him bad dreams.  Here's a nice pretty picture Bob of my baby daffodils........these should not give you nightmares!

I am now down to one treatment.  I am both incredibly happy and incredibly scared.  My feelings are VERY normal so I am not fretting too much.  It's just a bit frightening that after 15 months I will be "done" with the whole thing.  I still have lingering doubts that somewhere in my body there still is some cancer.  Again, the thoughts I'm having are very normal and are ones I am working to live and deal with.

I'm feeling well.  I am slowly getting my energy back.  Some days are better than others and even though my body hurts, I still exercise every single day.  It hurts either way so I figure I might as well exercise and lose weight.  So far, so good!

The weather we've been having has helped with the sun, warmth, and blue skies....can't be down when you see beautiful little daffodils growing outside your door!

A Year Ago!

A year ago I had just had one chemo treatment and was facing five more months of it.
A year ago I went to the gym on Valentine's Day, ran my hand through my hair and came away with a clump.
A year ago I cried because I was losing my hair.
A year ago I decided to take control and turn the sadness around.
A year ago my hairdresser Janelle and some great friends (including one from Florida via Skype) joined me in a hair shaving party.
A year ago what could have been a very sad day turned into a wonderful memory.
I am very blessed.

Whitney Houston

I am so angry about the number of celebrities who have died in recent months.  Don't get me wrong....I'm sad for their families and those left behind BUT......

THEY have control of their lives.  THEY have the resources to get help.  THEY can get better.

People with cancer and other diseases have no control.  They sometimes die and can't do anything about it. They WANT to live and be with their families.

I know there's lots more to any story and celebrities have their own issues but it just makes me sad and mad.  What a waste!

Nothing to update....sorry

I'm doing well.  There's not much going on.  Saw some friends tonight at a fundraiser and they were wondering what's up so I thought you should know that I'm hanging in there and doing just fine.

I'm down to three treatments....I hope!  Achy joints continue but I'm exercising anyways.  Hurting sucks but I think it makes me feel better so I continue to do it.  Have lost over 10 pounds in the new year and that mentally has been good.

The only strange thing going on right now is that I am cold 24/7.  I wear two or three layers all the time and  cover up with blankets.  Going to give the doc a call and see what's up with that.

It's nice to see friends.  Sometime I get lonely and miss the action I'm so used to.  Applied for a job in a local library and was really hopeful but didn't even get an interview.  Was a bit depressed.  It's hard when you are used to being a viable contributor to suddenly not be wanted/needed anywhere.  Humbling.  A learning experience?  I hope so but it stinks.

I think it's time to figure out what I'm going to do with my life.  Hard, so hard.

Swimming......I love it!

I'm back to swimming as part of my exercise.  I went four nights this week.  I can't describe how much I love being in the water.  When I was really overweight it was one of the few exercises I could do that didn't hurt.  Despite looking like a beached whale I put on a suit and got in the water.  When I first started I couldn't even swim one length.  Last night I swam over a mile (78 lengths).  I feel light in the water.  It's a good feeling.  One of my goals when I lose my weight is to learn how to scuba dive.  I think it would be a blast and going somewhere warm REALLY sounds good about now.

Until I can fit in a wetsuit and look good, I'm going to keep at this.

Back to work tomorrow.....NOT!

All my school friends have to go back to work tomorrow.  I remember the feeling after having a great two week break.....NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I miss my job so very much but I always hated the idea of going back to work.  That being said, I have to do the hospital thing tomorrow and that's a pain although I can come home and crash after the infusion so that makes up for it.

The weather has been incredible even if it's not going to last.  Chloe and I have gotten a bunch of nice walks in and she sat out in the yard in the sun an hour this afternoon.  Sun and blue skies make you feel so very good.

: )