Wednesday, December 29, 2010

I was pissed at God!

and if I am to be honest, I still am a little bit........... but let me tell you why I am not SO pissed right now.  At first I thought why the heck have I been busting my butt to lose weight and get healthy for the past several years if this is what it's going to be.  But my friend Tony reminded me that maybe God knew this was going to happen and he knew that I couldn't handle being as heavy as I used to be.  Now (even though I still have a ways to go) I CAN take this on and fight it because I am healthier.

I also struggled with whether or not to retire last spring.  After putting the decision in God's hands, I did decide to retire and once again I do believe that God has a plan for me.  Having to leave school, the wonderful staff and kids is hard enough but if I was still the principal it would be even harder.

Early in December Chloe and I took a "road trip" to St. Louis and Omaha to see several friends I hadn't seen in a long time.  I was a wonderful trip and I am so glad I was able to go.  Again, there's something there.

And finally, the overwhelming support I have received since sharing my news has been nothing short of a miracle.  Thanks to you all God is being bombarded with prayers and messages that despite the fact that I am no where near perfect, am a pain in the butt sometimes, and drive people crazy (especially my sister), I still have tooooooo much to do and toooooo many things I need to do so God better start listening to all of us!

All this being said, I am still pissed.  I am working through it, trying to put my faith and belief in him.  It's hard and I am struggling but I have no choice to believe that God has a plan for me and things will be fine.....I just pray it will be the "fine" that I want.

1 comment:

  1. You have touched so many of us in so many ways, Nancy. Seems God has a larger plan for us, and it is so meaningful when you start to notice the connections. We will be praying for you as you take on the next part of this journey.

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